Music heals the soul; jokes make us happy and music jokes can do both. Music jokes can be hilarious, intriguing, and sometimes uncanny too. However, music jokes can never fail to make you laugh, whether you’re an aspiring musician, a rock music fan, a regular at the music store, or even a music instructor. At the same time, the savage beast can be soothed by music (“beast” is a misquote, don’t get furious at us).
On the other hand, music may occasionally cause us a headache, especially when performed by little, emerging artists who haven’t quite perfected their talents. An hour of listening to a tape recorder has a peculiar way of driving you insane. Although a musical joke will most likely not touch your soul like Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight’ Sonata, it may make you smile or perhaps chuckle a little. But, truly, if you were a kid who played an instrument, it was probably a lot of labor and long hours.
We can help you bury your trauma with a slew of jokes about the music industry. And if you don’t laugh, your child will, which is always music to everyone’s ears. Do you see what I did there? The jokes have already begun!
Allow the youngsters to take a break from tickling the ivories and instead tickle their funny bones with these clean, kid-friendly music jokes. Your throbbing head will be grateful for the rest. We’ve carefully compiled a selection of fantastic music jokes that has something for everyone, whether you’re searching for classical music jokes, music puns, or everything in between.
Our List Of Music Jokes
There’s so much to laugh at, no matter what your taste of humor is, from cheesy music jokes to side-splittingly funny. Learn what happens when you drop a piano down a mineshaft, how many conductors it takes to replace a light bulb, and how to repair a damaged brass instrument. And, while we’re at it, why was the pianist bashing his head on the keys? Discover the amusing responses to these music jokes and many more.
Short Music Jokes: Part One
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
- A Moo-sician.
Which one of Santa’s helpers was the best singer?
- Elf-is Presley!
What makes pirates such good singers?
- They can hit the high Cs.
Why did the singer climb a ladder?
- She wanted to reach the high notes!
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar. “Sorry,” the barman said. “We don’t serve minors.”
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?
My friends and I are in a band called “Duvet.” We’re a cover band.
What part of a turkey is musical?
- The drumstick.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
- Because she broke the record.
What types of songs do planets sing?
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
- You can’t tuna fish.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
- The trombone.
What kind of music do bunnies like?
- Hip Hop.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
- Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Violist & The Genie
A violist was in the back seat of a small town’s orchestra. One day he found a genie and was granted three wishes, the first wish was that he wanted to be 5 times better than he already was. By the next practice, he became the principal of the violists.
After some time, he wanted to become even better. He went to the genie and asked to be 10 times better once more. The next day he became the principal violist of the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra. After months he still wanted to become a musician. He asked the genie once more but to be 15 times better.
The next day at practice he was back in his small town’s orchestra but in the very back of the second violin section.
Short Music Jokes: Part Two
Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
- Because they always ran around going “ Bach! Bach! Bach!”
What song do tornados like?
- “The Twist.”
What has a neck, but no head?
- A bass.
What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
What’s green and sings?
- Elvis Parsley.
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
- Because they forgot the words.
What’s the most musical bone?
- The trombone.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
- “Three Blind Mice.”
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
- A yam session.
What do you call an elf that sings?
- A wrapper.
What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
- God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
Which computer brand will win the Grammys?
- A dell.
What do you call clean music?
- A soap opera!
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide?
- He didn’t even leave a note.
What’s a golf club’s favorite type of music?
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
- For fingering a minor.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
- Too much sax and violins.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
- But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
- You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
Which composer likes tea the most?
The Beginner Bassist & His Father
A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
The 1st week the father asked him what he had learned
The son said “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string”
The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what he had learned that week
The son said “On my 2nd lesson I learned about the A string”
3rd week came by, and the father said to his son “You know these are expensive lessons what have you learned this week”
The son said “I +quit the lessons I already got a gig”
Short Music Jokes: Part Three
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
- 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
- Because she broke the record
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
- The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What concert costs 45 cents?
- 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
- Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
What do you call a singing laptop?
- A Dell.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
- Because they have no organs.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
- He was shredding the floor.
A musician should never B flat, sometimes B sharp, and always B natural.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
- Never mind, it’s too short.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. They can’t get up that high.
What type of soap did the composer use?
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
What kind of music do bunnies like?
- Hip Hop.
What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the guitar?
- The neck.
Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
The orchestra had finished their practice for the night and the conductor said, “Good night, everyone!” The next morning at practice he said, “Cello everyone!”
Brittney Spears who?
Oops! I did it again!
Short Music Jokes: Part Four
What song do vampires hate?
- “You are my sunshine!”
What has a lot of keys but can’t open doors?
- A piano.
What kind of music does a mountain like?
- Rock music!
Why was the tuba player upset?
- People kept making off-bass comments.
Why do choirs like to perform what they write?
- They prefer to sing their own phrases.
What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
- Cool music!
Why aren’t the flute players allowed to edit the woodwinds document?
- Because it’s reed-only.
Who’s most likely to be struck by lightning in an orchestra?
- The conductor.
Why are triangle players so stressed out?
- They’re responsible for every ting.
What do you call it when you throw a woodwind instrument over a family of birds?
- One flute over the cuckoo’s nest.
Why do celebrity pianos spend their vacations on the first floor?
- They prefer to keep it low-key.
Why did the jazz musician keep touching the colourful paintings?
- He was feeling the blues.
Why did middle C need a lawyer?
- She got in treble and was under a rest.
The Bet of A Musician
A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of $50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says, “I have an amazing talent. I know almost every song that has ever existed.”
The rich man laughs. The poor man says, “I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady’s name of your choice in it.”
The rich man laughs again and says, “Ok, how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong Miller.”
The poor man begins, “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Joanna Armstrong Miller, happy birthday to you!”
Short Music Jokes: Part Five
What is the most musical part of your body?
- Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
- He knew his scales.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
- Because they put on the salsa.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
- He was playing by ear.
How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
- Just one, but it takes four movements.
How do you make a bandstand?
- Take away their chairs.
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
- Mount Rushmore.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
- To get away from the noise.
How do you make musicians complain?
- Pay them.
Why was the musician arrested?
- He was in treble
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
- A vocalist.
The Singing Computer
Store Owner: Hello sir! Welcome to The Computer store!
Man: I would like to buy a computer that sings really well.
Owner: Well, we have Macs.
Man: No, no.
Owner: Would you like to look at our PC collection?
Owner: How about you buy a dell? (Adele)
Man: NOW THAT’S A SINGING COMPUTER!
Short Music Jokes: Part Six
Why did I break up with the key of A flat?
- Because he would never B natural.
What do you call a piccolo that’s on sale?
- A cheap trill.
Why can’t you get singers to listen to you?
- They answer to a choir authority.
Why shouldn’t you play drums in front of a very attractive person?
- Because it’s not polite to snare.
Why aren’t orchestras considered minimalist?
- Too many bells and whistles.
What do you call classical music that is not bound together?
- A loose canon.
What do you call the Baroque musician who spends 75% of his time playing American football?
- A quarter-Bach.
Why do thieves always rob instrument stores?
- They want the lute.
Why doesn’t the teacher let students in detention turn away from orchestral concerts?
- Because it’s time to face the music.
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
- To get away from the noise
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
- He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
My friend was really annoyed because I was constantly singing Michael Jackson songs.
I told him to beat it.
Vegetables love to listen to songs for one sole reason. They love the beet drop.
The programmer had a really hard time understanding the music at the party. He didn’t understand the algo-rhythm….
Whether you’re an aspiring musician, a rock music enthusiast, a regular at the music store, or even a music instructor, music jokes will always make you chuckle. Music jokes may be amusing, fascinating, and even creepy at times. Music soothes the soul, jokes make us laugh, and music jokes can accomplish both.
There are tons of music that might sound really hilarious just because of how the vocalists sing the words of the lyrics.
Credit: Justin Michuad
Mention your favorite music jokes in the comment section. We will be happy to read them. Thanks for reading this far.